Bittersweet.

Over the past few weeks, I have been struggling with my decision of whether or not to return to work for the spring semester. After lots of heart to hearts with Angus (and Calvin) I have decided to take the rest of the school year off to be at home with Calvin. I knew that if I tried to go back full tilt in January, I'd wouldn't be a good mom or a good teacher - I'd be a hot frickin' mess. It took some degree of getting real with myself because I tend to want to tackle it all, and then inevitably, I burn out. Anyway, I went to school on Friday to talk with my principal about everything. I was so nervous going into the meeting, but I knew I had come to the right decision. Luckily, my principal was unbelievably supportive and understanding and told me to take the time and enjoy it. In his words, "the job will be here waiting for you in August." It was a huge relief and weight off my shoulders for sure. What a blessing that BVSD allows for the opportunity to take a year off and holds the job.

While I was at school, I stopped to visit my classroom, and the kids were SO excited to see me and pictures of Calvin. Then, during passing period, kids swarmed me giving me hugs and asking me about the baby. It was so super cute. It was especially awesome when one of my most challenging students from last year, who projects to be a real tough guy, came running up to me to give me a hug. In that moment, I felt a (small) pang of doubt about my decision to stay home. I felt the urge to get back in the classroom and feel productive again. To be starting a new career and having a baby at the same time has proven difficult because I feel so dedicated to both. Overall, I know I made the right choice for this moment in my life. I'm looking forward to enjoying the next several months of Calvin's life as a stay at home mom and then getting back to my teacher self in August.

All I know is that we modern women are pretty kick ass in that we can maintain a career and selflessly care for our children and do everything else in between. I really think that it should be acceptable to list "parent" on our resumes. How about it mamas?